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marbles 1, 2016, chelsea college of arts, documentation

we are presenting our research,

five minutes theory,

five minutes practice, 

five minutes discussion,

two teachers are present,

one of them holding a stop watch

people take turns,

i am the last one of the day

i place my phone on the table

it is playing like an angel passing through my room by abba

i get up and open the window,

i pour two jars of golden marbles into the streets 

and try to make myself sick

(the entrance gates of tate modern are watching)

i had eaten plenty of food for lunch, 

nothing would come out

i hear one of my teachers say

darius, i don't like this, please stop

i cannot stop, i continue

my teacher is now behind me, one hand on my back 

please stop

i am not stopping

once i feel like it is over i get back to my seat,

i stop the music, take a moment, then look up 

how much time have i got left?

i attempt to articulate my research

we have a discussion

in the evening i send an email to my teachers, 

i am apologising

among my teachers' responses is a link for student services,

making sure i know there is mental health support 

marbles 2, 2017, chelsea college of arts, documentation

audio commentary - marbles
00:00 / 09:08
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